#karlach would probably go check in on him anyway but for the bit she gets to be lisa

[vagueiish]

tiny list of meme-y/comic-y ideas for if i ever git gud at arting:

1.

that 'are you tired of being nice? don't you just want to go apeshitt' meme with astarion and my tav, oliver (and a small follow up of his response)

2.

(based on this bit from the simpsons): *act three, in the elfsong suite. first shot is oliver in front of the fireplace, angled in such a way as to appear to be seated on a nearby sofa. he is staring intently into the fire. karlach watches him from a little ways away.* karlach, calling over to astarion: oy, fangs. think you might want to check in on oliver. he's, uh... lookin' kinda tense right now... astarion, dismissively: come, now. if he were anything but perfectly fine, i'd know *cut to reveal that oliver is actually so rigid that he's currently sitting on the air a good foot or two in front of the sofa, nothing to support him but his own leg muscles* astarion: ...ah.

[meanbossart]

Spicy Asks: The Sequel is here. I'm so, so sorry.

Oh he's a very passive guy, he likes being manhandled around and not having to do much of the work (a bit of a pillow princess one might say). As far as fetishes go, he does have fantasies about group sex and of being roughed up, but I think if put in a situation where he could practice it in a controlled environment he'd be like "EHHHH nevermind actually" and go home very quickly LOL

DU drow would have 100% banged Lae'zel if he hadn't killed her. He couldn't stand her personality but they would have gotten on like two peas in a pod in the sack.

He does find Shadowheart very pretty, but they struck up a friendship so quickly that I don't think he could see her in that way 🤷 but that's still a smash, technically speaking.

Jaheira. Ohhhh Jaheira. As far as general dynamics go she would have been the best choice after Astarion, probably - though there is no way in hell or high heavens that she would have ever let him touch her LOL regardless, DU drow finds her looks and personality to be very attractive.

He's pretty much utterly indifferent to anyone else. Wyll is too idealistic, Gale is Gale, Karlach isn't his type, Halsin gets on his nerves - oh, he WOULD have banged Mizora if he hadn't been heads over heels for Astarion by that point.

The man just likes his femmes I guess LOL

HMMMMMMM yes, but since it's not really a porn fic expect any scenes like that to be in line with what we've had so far, where there's more of a focus on developing character dynamics rather than gratuitousness (I hope I've gotten that across, at least LOL).

LOL, It's ok, it's a ridiculous not-name and I'm so sorry for all the people I have made confused and will continue to confuse because of it.

As for your question, definitely not! I personally like big-bottom/smaller-top scenarios so that's why I focus on it, and I do think character-wise those are the roles they fall into most naturally - but they switch around every so often when the mood strikes and it isn't really a big deal.

Oh are you kidding me? The guy LOVES being cared after in an intimate setting. Being doted on, groomed, checked up on, having his hair played with and clothes fixed up - he doesn't express it outwardly much, but these are all things that make his murderous little heart skip a beat. He was the same way pre-tadpole but it was mostly servants and Sceleritas doing it, so he didn't get much out of the exchange; and Orin didn't entertain this at all, or, if she ever did, it was very, very, very rarely and really just a crumb of intimate affection that he most likely misread anyways.

I'm not sure what to say to this one LOL the penis is full of blood already man I don't think a vampire needs to make it any more tempting to themselves to chomp down.

I wrote a thing about that not too long ago :D ! The answer is complicated but, mostly yes.

Alright you joke, but, if you don't think DU drow hasn't spent a little too long lingering over Astarion's feet and ankles then I got amazing news for you.

I touched on what they generally like on the previous edition of Wine Fuelled Spicy Asks, but as for what they like to do as a couple, it's probably a lot of body worship and some playful denial on both ends. Du drow thinks Astarion is the most elegant and limber thing he's ever seen (and he loves how he smells), and Astarion thinks DU drow's body is an expertly put together murder machine. They have a great time being mutually enamored with each other's (and their own) appearances.

I think they also venture into some blood-play and vapid threats of violence in the future, as a treat, but takes a while for them to trust themselves and each other enough to indulge in that kind of thing.

Needs a little direction, plus you gotta learn to enjoy a bit of teeth and a very slobbery time - also I think he distracts easily, It's nice to have a man who's willing to venture the whole perimeter with his mouth but sometimes you do just want him to stay on the prick. But generally speaking - yes, DU drow gives good head. Fun head, even!

What do you people want from me? Do you want schematics? Diagrams? Do you want me to compare their holes to famous people holes? Do you want me to take out my measuring tape and give you numbers, tell you which kind of produce each of them can fit in there???

One is pink, the other one is brown. One of them just looks normal and the other looks and feels a little like it been around the block a few times. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW.

[missizzy]

A Game Novice's Baldur's Gate Log, 57 1/2 Hours In: Gapfilling and Grinding for XP

Masterpost

(Note: this will definitely contain spoilers for all I've played through, and probably quite of a bit of the later stuff I've also seen.)

I am now nearing the end of Act I. I've even had the poetical idea of finishing it just before I board the plane for San Diego is a little over a week. I suspect I may not manage it, though. It'll depend on not only how much I can get through this week, but also how much I'll eventually decide I want to do.

By the end of last week, I had spotted the Grymforge elevator on the map, and it wasn't long at all into this one before my characters were staring it down. At that point I decided it was time to do a little research, especially into what needed to be done for each character's arc before Act II. Which was when I discovered I'd missed a huge part of Wyll's, back on the Risen Road. I also took a proper look at the XP for the first time, and determined I wanted to collect a bit more of that before leaving the Underdark.

Still, I couldn't figure out how to get to the Adamantine Forge, and I wasn't sure we were ready to deal with its protector. So I ended up consulting a map of the Underdark, and discovered there was a tower we'd missed back when we came in, so I waypointed back there. Looking further around that area, after finally properly looting the mini-Beholder and drow we'd fought, I quickly discovered that since being there, I'd actually gotten a lot better at spotting jump-through and climb-through spots, which was very encouraging.

The Arcane Tower, on the other hand, drove me completely up the wall. Even after I finally looked up how to disable the turrets, I still went a little crazy trying to get Astarion to the back garden without doing him major injury. When it was finally done, I found myself doubting the XP were worth the struggle. But I did enjoy sampling some of the literature we found there. Sara tried to be diplomatic with the constructs when we hit the roof, but she used the wrong quote and we ended up fighting them anyway. Story of her life, I suspect.

The next day I swapped Lae'zel out for Karlach, partly because I wanted to see her reaction to the Myconids, but mostly because I like having her around. We ended up going to the village twice, because the first time I failed to save even as I then went to find the Festering Cove I'd also read about-and accidentally toppled Sara into a chasm. But knowing where it was and reloading at the tower made it a bit easier to go to the Cove directly the second time around. Even after its denizens declared their intent to sacrifice us, I actually did go for the arcana check, just to make it more interesting, but when that failed I went ahead and attacked. This time I remembered to have Shadowheart cast Spirit Guardians immediately.

My goal got accomplished. By the time we'd gotten back to the village and handed Nere's head in for the second time, we were under 1500 XP to go for level six. When I went to Blurg to unload excess loot for the second time, I also decided to tell him about the tadpole and have him bring in Omeluum. I'd already seen one streamer talk with the latter, and had doubts about how Sara would react to meeting a mind-flayer, but I decided that in a strange, spore-hazy atmosphere of the village, she could refrain from attacking immediately. I suspect it is a very good thing, though, that we didn't have Lae'zel with us at that point, especially when Omeluum started talking about the Githyanki rebelling.

I went back and forth, however, about returning to the tower to complete his quest. We'd gotten most of the tower's XP already, and it didn't feel worth the effort. I ultimately had Sara decline to do it, at least for now, though the directions remain in the journal, and I may yet go back and do it after all. I even waypointed back to the Selunite Outpost, before changing my mind again and waypointing again back to the Blighted Village to forge the sussar weapon. There, too, I went reading about how to forge and the options, and took the advice I read to forge a dagger.

I also spotted the passage outside the basement's wall, which I hadn't spotted before, and was pleased to discover I could now easily figure out how to jump into it. Getting the false wall at the end down took slightly longer, but then I finally figured out piercing damage works on those. I reaped the rewards for my advancement by getting to explore the Whispering Depths. Fighting the spiders in them felt much like more grinding, but it was kind of worth it just to hear Karlach tell one of them "Bye bye," before killing it.

Nonetheless, I ended up swapping both her and Astarion out for Gale and Wyll before heading north and tracking down the inn the latter's father had just been kidnapped from. There I had Shadowheart create more water than strictly necessary as we stumbled through the burning building, and ultimately failed to rescue one guy before his half of the upper floor blew up, but at least we got Counselor Florrick out. Upon hearing about the Duke from her, and learning Wyll had been disowned, Sara quickly got very mixed feelings about rescuing him, though so long as Wyll wants to do it she'll try to.

I left off this week right after that, at the opening of the Mountain Pass, still unsure about how much of it I'll do, though I'll have to go to the monastary and creche, at least. Maybe also until we meet Elminster, though I'm currently a little confused on when exactly he's supposed to show up.

I have also since been brought to realize I completely forgot about the Zhentarim in the basement. But I'm pretty sure that Sara retains absolutely no interest in meeting with them anyway.

[missizzy]

A Game Novice's Baldur's Gate Log, 21 Hours In: Making things more complicated then they have to be

Masterpost

(Note: this will definitely contain spoilers for all I've played through, and probably quite of a bit of the later stuff I've also seen.)

I have now found and recruited all six of the main companions, and have taken to switching them out for each other quite a lot. I wonder if it is confusing anyone that we meet. One hag kicks us out of her teahouse, and we come back not that much later with our two elves exchanged for a Tiefling and a Githyanki. They must think that Sara Tully is traveling with a trio of shapeshifters.

It's been my way of dealing with certain dilemmas, such as the one I had at the end of last time where Wyll was in desperate need of at least a short rest, and the rest of the party wasn't. We were still far enough out from Karlach I figured I could swap him out for Gale, do the next encounter with that party, swap them again, and then short rest. Although I did end up having to feed Gale my new magic bracers, as he picked a less than ideal moment to reveal his arcane dependency.

At least it worked. Sort of. We did indeed fight more gnolls not at all long after that, and ended up using the Ilithid for the first time, when one of them made mental contact with Astarion in the middle of the battle. Sara wouldn't have done it, had it been her; she's too utterly repulsed by the tadpoles, but I figured he might. Though while he thus turned her against the other gnolls, we failed the wisdom roll necessary to keep her under our control after the battle, so we had to kill her anyway. That may discourage anyone from trying again for a while.

He was also injured enough, and Shadowheart was low enough on spells, that I ended up swapping them both out for Wyll and Lae'zel. Though I felt rather silly for bringing in the latter, when we finally reached Karlach immediately after, and recruiting the barbarian meant sending the fighter straight back to camp. I was wondering at that point how I was even going to deal with having two barbarians in the party, though with Sara already being a wildheart barbarian, I made Karlach into a wild magic one instead, which might keep things interesting.

I had seen the scene where we confront her pursuers already, and I'm afraid to say I have to be glad for that one. Seeing her ignite for the first time, courtesy a streamer whose game wasn't lagging, sent shivers down my spine. In my own game, on the other hand, it just didn't have the same effect when the flames were timed all wrong. Just as well I'd gotten to enjoy that magnificent moment beforehand.

Still, wrecking her pursuers as two enraged barbarians was fun. When I told her to tear the place apart afterwards, I momentarily worried about her doing so while we were still in it, but it was such a delight to see her so happy. Seriously, I love her already. So does Sara, although not romantically.

So by the time Mizora showed up in camp that night, her first reaction (along with mine, since I hadn't seen this scene) was more fear for Karlach's safety than fear for Wyll's. And once Mizora indicated she wouldn't be going after her then, it was largely exasperation, because really, asking someone to deal with two devils in one day is a bit much. After Mizora gave Wyll his horns and departed, the evening took a bit of a comedy of errors turn, as I would ultimately click the sleeping bag no less than four times. The first time brought Mizora, and while I talked with Wyll afterwards, the second time was before I saw the exclamation point by Karlach.

That was all well and good, but when I clicked it the third time, and was again told there was pending conversation, I had moments of wondering who the hells needed to talk now, before seeing the exclamation point by Shadowheart. I ended up rolling the persuasion check to get her to admit to her secret, which, thanks to Astarion's feeding last night, I needed a 19 to meet-which I got. It was good timing part on Shadowheart's part to admit her worship of Shar then; Sara was pretty much like fuck it by that point; she wanted to finally go to sleep.

Then we woke up the next morning, and again I was left uncertain what to do next. The only markers on the map were for the Githyanki creche and the goblins, which I still didn't feel ready to deal with. I briefly went back to the Emerald Grove just to make contact with the Tiefling kids hiding out under it; thanks to Gale having since taken the enlarge/reduce spell I could send Astarion through the entrance to their hideout we'd found. He didn't offer to help them, though, if only because I knew they'd want us to steal the idol again, and I didn't want to do that. We then waypointed back to the blighted village-except I made the mistake of doing it before Astarion rejoined the others, and I eventually had to go to the trouble of waypointing each of Sara, Gale, and Shadowheart individually to join him.

I still wanted to save Mayrina next, so back in the blighted village, we started looking around for any sign of Auntie Ethel. We ended up doing much wandering in the woods, not finding anything, until I looked at the map again and say the waypoint for the Riverside Teahouse. I'm not even sure when we found that, but we took it, and found our quarry in it. Then it was the game's turn to get unnecessarily dramatic, or at least Gale's, as he spoke of the hard choice Sara now had to make. It wasn't a hard choice for her at all; of course she was going to tell Mayrina Auntie Ethel had killed her brothers.

Here, too, my game's lagging ultimately gave me trouble, as the depiction of Auntie Ethel vamoosing turned weird with the lag, leaving me uncertain of just what had happened there. All I knew was we had redcaps to fight. Which we did, which left Shadowheart and Gale both injured enough I had her just heal him, then swapped her out for Karlach.

At least we were able to level up at that point. To my disappointment, I discovered I can't multiclass the characters when playing at the explorer level. I really wanted to have more than one healer, and ultimately I gave Lae'zel a mage initiate feat just to she could take Cure Wounds, and I'll probably do the same for Wyll. (I'm also definitely rescuing Halsin next, but I know it'll be a while before he becomes a playable companion.)

Then I once again spent too much time looking in the wrong direction, as we wandered around the swamp, met a guy hunting Astarion, killed him, and swapped the very injured Astarion out for Lae'zel, before it occurred to me to try to go back into the teahouse. Even when we did, we wandered all around, stealing most of the food, and Gale took damage trying to break the arcane barrier she'd put outside, before I looked at the journal, and it told me to just go through her fireplace. I'd still been imagining all that time the hag had teleported Mayrina to some completely different part of the world.

Getting through the fireplace was easy. But after reaching her foyer of horrors, getting through the tunnel door has proved more difficult. Sara actually got the door's cooperation via a successful persuasion check, but trying to walk through it only provoked the dialog to start again. A thunderwave from Gale had no effect. I finally gave up, quit the game, and went to look up how to get through. Which was when I read that this was an issue with the design of the game, from someone who suggested rotating the camera until you can click on a spot beyond the door to get the party to walk through.

So now I'm worried whether I can make that happen, the way my game's behaving. I'm a little worried I'll have to abandon the quest, leave Mayrina to her fate, and be left to wait and see if the hag comes after us for stealing her food!